Iran saves Earth, details at 11
by Dwayne A. Day
The story starts when a little girl named Shabnam is stargazing with her telescope one evening and spots an asteroid heading toward Earth. She tells her friends, including Hansen, a “Dianasour fan,” (apparently a translation error, and nothing to do with the British monarchy) who informs her that an asteroid killed all the dinosaurs.
Shabnam, Hansen, and the other kids quickly come up with a plan: they will build a rocket, fly up to the asteroid, attach a small rocket engine to it, and send it somewhere else. It’s so crazy, it just might work!
Sujo, who looks a lot like a young Harry Potter, wins at Rock-Paper-Scissors, puts on a spacesuit, and flies into space. After reaching the asteroid, “Sujo installed the rocket and fasten the belt around asteroid tightly. It was a difficult mission, but he came over.” (Probably a translation problem there.)
Sujo then sends the asteroid off in another direction. The Earth (including Israel) is saved.
“That night when they were sleeping, they all shared the same dream: our beautiful Earth is happy and grateful to all the wonderful kids around the world.”
Okay, so Armageddon it isn’t. But just what exactly is it?
Iran has a fledgling space program, and the country has recently joined the ranks of spacefaring nations by launching its first satellite, and they do have ambitions to become a spacefaring power. A few weeks ago, an article appeared on the Internet with the headline: “Iran to launch monkey and spy satellite into space.” Alas, apparently the monkey will not operate the spy satellite. But despite their recent activities, and their presence at COSPAR, the Iranians have not quite figured out how to play the public relations game. Rather than show up at COSPAR with glossy brochures proclaiming their peaceful intentions in space, they produced fluff suitable for children. For some reason, this is all in badly-translated English.
Nobody does public relations as well as NASA. Maybe the Iranians could learn a few things from them. Then again, maybe we don’t want them to.